I was called a whore by protestors in my cat sweatshirt before noon.

    On March 15, 2013, I walked onto my small liberal art school's campus wearing my celebrated cat sweatshirt. I walked down the red brick road to the entrance of the library only to be stopped by two protestors holding up signs reading, "YOU WILL GO TO HELL," and, "SINNERS WILL BURN!" The younger of the two, a woman who couldn't have been much older than me, yelled at me, "sinner!" I was absolutely dumbfounded. "I didn't say anything. You don't know me," I responded. That was my first mistake. "Don't make contact. Just don't speak to them," I was often told by fellow students. The woman and her sidekick went on to ask me questions:

     "Are you a christian?"

     -"I was raised Catholic." (This one stumped them!)

     "Are you a virgin?"

     -"I don't know, man."

     "Ah-ha! Then you're a whore!"

     I walked away and into the library. I immediately got into line and ordered a $5 coffee drink because I deserved it, right? I checked my phone. It was 11:56 am. I was called a whore on March 15, 2013 by protestors protesting something, although I don't understand what. I was called a whore on this day before noon whilst wearing a sweater with a cat's face on it. 

Who run the world? Cats.